Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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