Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When are your genitals available?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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