Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
