So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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