I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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