I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
