Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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