i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
