Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
