You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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