Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
