Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
