remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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