capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
