Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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