Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
