ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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