Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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