so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
