Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
