I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
