Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
