I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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