do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
