I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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