I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
