Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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