My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
