I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
