if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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