Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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