She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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