Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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