Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I believe in your delicious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize