She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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