She's JV to your varsity
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
