craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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