Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
