Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
