They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
