Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
