Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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