just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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