His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
