i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you never un-have a 4some
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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