Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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