dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
one might say we're banned from that church
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
