At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
