HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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