bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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