If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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