her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
