She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
