guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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