Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she peed on how many people?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
