I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
