I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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