im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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