I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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